loathe.loathe.loathe.

Why.
WHY WHY WHY.

Crap happens. To everyone.
I don't know about you but when it does to me, I deal with it. I brood. I mope. I disconnect myself. I confide. I turn to my bestfriends for strength (because I'm weak and you know it). I tend to say things I don't really mean. I cope. I cry. I sleep. (heheh narcolepsy is the cure to everything. I'm the happiest when I'm asleep!) But somehow, I find ways to make me feel better about myself, I try to light up and just eventually ignore everything else completely and let the crap slide because in the end, I know that rational thinking prevails. Sure, I would probably need a few people to slap me out of all the drama I'm tangled in- but hands down, it's really one of the things that has never failed me. I cannot remember a time it hasn't served me for my betterment. (also, it helps that I'm ridiculously shallow.)

It does get pretty depressing though, when I start to sink to the dismal realization that what I expected the whole time ends up a sheer disappointment. A joke. A meer dream or, a test. Humiliation blows. It's the worst feeling ever. It hits me the hardest too. Redemption? I think that's overrated. You expect me to redeem myself a second after I was proved I couldn't?
The effort is just so exhausting. and the frustration, doubly so.
Give it time.

It's not in my nature to stay mad at people I care about, but once you break my trust over something that's really really of importance and of significance to me and/or hurt me in a level that I cannot fathom, that can very easily and drastically change.

I'm honestly so emotionally burned out right now. I already have enough reasons to curse you. I've had enough of your shit. What makes you think you can casually swing by and feed me more?

:|

School = Hectic

I'm giving up. I don't want to be an officer anymore. I haven't even volunteered to be the Registration Committee Head for our convention. This September 30, 2007, we will be having a convention with the theme of "Culinario De Turismo: Unveiling the Secrets to Success to the Philippine Cuisine" at Cecile's Restaurant in Las Pinas. I was elected to be the Registration Com Head. I have to design our uniform, create the ticket layouts, choose a souvenir and manage the ticket-selling and everything! It all sounds so easy to do, but it isn't. I have to run here and there. Go to Divisoria to find cheap cloth and to canvass souvenirs. I have no time for my friends as well as for myself.... I'm breaking down. I'm not used to handling this much responsibilities. My emotional range for handling pressure is as small as a teaspoon. It's just too much. I just burst out crying at school because of too much pressure. I have to accomplish everything fast and efficiently. They expect so much from me, and I can't do it all alone. Help!

wednesday night

FUN! Uber-fun. XDDD
Mr. Metal-Mouth (or we can just call him M-cubed, hahaha :D) picked us up at our dorm with his gray Mazda3. (MY DREAM CAR man) T'was still raining like mad around 10 o'clock. He's with his friend Kevin (the kid with the afro hairdo). Guys bear with the names and a brief introduction thereof, because I might find it useful someday since I'm REALLY bad at names. Haha. Anyway, we went to Decades at Timog and partied all night. On the way there, we sang our lungs out with some Taking Back Sunday songs. It's classic. (Loves it!) We got drowned with Bacardi and some beers. Smoked some death sticks. And danced 'til we dropped. Then we went to his village's clubhouse and smoked some pot. Hahaha. It's really laughtrip! We just laughed and laughed even though our jokes are really lame. Hahaha. Then when I had to pee, I got the chance to use his bathroom. His house is really nice, and i met Coco (Mr. Metal-Mouth brown Cocker Spaniel). He's SO effin adoooooraaaaaable! I swear. i wanna take him home. Hee-hee. ^__^

Then we went to BF Homes and had SEX. (Sinangag EXpress) Hahahahaha. Grabehan, ang sarap ng Tapsilog nila. T_T Sobrang yummy, I just wanna have s.ex for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Hahahahahahah. XDDD Then, finally, he dropped me back our dorm around 5am...

I can say that I've never felt this way again for almost half a year. I'm looking forward to be with Mr. Metal-Mouth again... Soon.

<3

Metal-Mouths!

I had my first date with, (let's just call him Mr. Metal-mouth for now), MR. METAL-MOUTH! I didn't expect it to be SO fun. After three months of moping, (Finally!), I can say that I am happy once again. We went to Bang Town earlier to watch Rush Hour III, then just chilled at Starbucks. We just talked and talked and talked, about almost everything. It's amazing. Really. And we are gonna have our second date.... LATER! Hahahaha. We're gonna go out. Probably at Eastwood or just chill in Malate. YAY! <3

Laters.
xoxo

"Ang Prinsipeng Mahaba ang Ilong"

NO CLASSES, again. I hate it. I cry for classes today! We're supposed to have a play today, but yeah, screw the weather. I used to love the rain, but now it gets annoying. >_<

I'm the director for our school play. Wow. :D Hahaha. It's for the "Linggo ng Wika". The play is about the stories of Lola Basyang. Our professor gave us a week and a plot about a prince who has a very long nose. It's stupid actually, pero wala naman akong magagawa. After a couple of mind-draining days, I finished the script. Gave the roles to my members, made the props, starved ourselves to death just to finish the background. Grabe. Hard-core. And now, they cancelled it and moved this Friday. Sayang ang cramming namin man. T_T

Well anyway, I have to go and watch a movie. Escape from reality for a couple of hours. I'll get back to you. Hehe. <3